Baseball Bats
by Hamano Chiaki
Summary: Midorima's lucky item of the day: A baseball bat. Midorima discovers the use of it during one of his bad luck days... R&R! AU, Alternate jobs


**Midorima and his horoscopes! Finding characters with horoscopes opposing Cancer is kinda hard, since the facts are hard to find... I couldn't find any Aries characters in KuroBasu... There was one, but I doubt anyone would remember him... He's a Touou player... =w=**

**Kise Ryouta - Gemini. Akashi Seijuro - Sagittarius. Kuroko Tetsuya - Aquarius. Murasakibara Atsushi - Libra. (Empty) - Aries**

Baseball Bats

_"Ohayo! We'll start off with today's worst luck! Oh, it's Cancer! Look out, your least favorite people will be in your way! Your lucky item for the day is a baseball bat! Hopefully it'll bat all your problems away! Today's luckiest horoscope is Libra! Your favorite will be knocking on your door today! Everything will be a smooth sail for every Libra!"_

One Midorima Shintarou pinches the bridge of his nose before placing his spectacles on. Here he is, in the office of his clinic, listening to Oho-Asa's predictions for the twentieth time this morning. A baseball bat leans on the wall in a lonesome corner, abandoned for now.

_His lucky item of the day doesn't seem to be helping with his bad luck at all!_ If anything, the annoying patients seem to be pouring into the clinic like bees to honey. Takao Kazunari, long time "friend" and receptionist at the reception table, doesn't seem to be able to handle to overflow of patients.

A yell causes Midorima to jump and a certain blond barges into the office. Tears stream dramatically down his cheeks as he drops himself onto the chair meant for patients. Then, he holds up a hand in Midorima's face. The doctor goes cross-eyed from the closeness of the hand before pushing it away.

"What is it, Kise?"

"Midorimacchi! My finger is broken!"

The blond then proceeds to wail loudly about how his boss is so mean, kicking him everyday. Telling the green-haired man all of his troubles as he goes through A to Z on the incident that caused a "broken" finger and that he had to wait in the traffic just to get to clinic. He also compliments Midorima on his successful clinic with the overflowing patients.

Midorima, being Midorima, finally snaps as the blond returns to wailing about his finger. He grabs the "broken" finger and squeezes it, glaring at the person the said finger is attached to.

"Your finger isn't broken, Kise-kun." He picks up the baseball bat menacingly, waving it above the model's hand. "But I won't hesitate to _break_ your hand for you."

"A-ah, my finger feels fine now, Midorimacchi! Thanks, doc!"

Then, Kise snatches his finger the doctor's hold and bolts out of the door, wailing about how Midorima is bullying him again. Midorima is half tempted to chase that idiot with butcher knife, but stays calm in his seat. His day would be smoother if no other idiot ca- His thoughts are shattered when the door slams open once more, revealing...

_Akashi Seijuro._

The professional shogi player stares at the doctor with heterochromatic eyes as he walks calmly into the office and sits on the chair in front of Midorima.

"What is it, Akashi?"

"Hn, is that the way you treat your patients? Whatever, I'm having a slight problem with my hands..." Akashi raises a hand and Midorima's eyes widen fractionally at the number of scissors hanging from his fingers.

"I can't seem to hold onto anything-"

The green-haired man peeps from under his table uncharacteristically the scissors come flying in his direction. Wind blows just above the top of his head as a pair of scissors embeds itself along with the rest of the scissors in the wall behind him. Strands of green hair fall onto his nose.

"-for more than two seconds. I do not appreciate such flaws, so fix it."

Midorima nods as he takes out a first aid kit. Then, he unwinds a roll of bandages before wrapping the redhead's hands. After five minutes of wrapping the hands, they no longer resemble human hands. They instead resemble mummified, deformed onigiri.

"Do not remove it for a week."

Akashi glares at the doctor, but Midorima does not show any cowardice towards the petite man, save for the uncharacteristic moment earlier. The shogi player then turns towards the door with a huff, struggling to open the doorknob, before walking out. Midorima collapses into his plush chair. However, his door opens once more, revealing...

_No one?_

Midorima raises an eyebrow but returns to trying to relax his throbbing head. He massages his temples in peace, but a slight cough to his left snaps him out of his reverie. Turning to his left, sky blue eyes are all he sees. He backs up and the blue-haired man goes to sit in the chair across the doctor.

"What now, Kuroko?" _Why is it that his ex-teammates are visiting him today?_

"I think I sprained my wrist when I was carrying the children at the daycare, Midorima."

Midorima sighs, what is with all the hand injuries today? He gently takes the hand Kuroko is holding out and gives it a gentle squeeze. No emotion fleets across Kuroko's face, but Midorima can see the slight swelling and bruise on the wrist.

"Your wrist is sprained, but not too badly. I'm going to bandage it and I'm giving you a wrist cast to protect it. Do not remove it for a week unless you are showering, cover the bandage with a plastic covering. Oh, no work that could strain the wrist, like carrying kids."

"Hai, Midorima, arigato."

Midorima watches as Kuroko walks out, wrist in a cast. _At least one patient isn't as troublesome as the model and shogi player..._ An unmanly scream coming from the reception table alerts the doctor of Kuroko's lack of presence acting up. _On second thought, Midorima takes it back._ As if on cue, Takao comes panting into the room, his face as pale as sheet.

"G-ghost! There's a g-ghost!"

Screams of panic ensue from the waiting room at the receptionist's scream of ghosts, and Midorima can hear things smashing as people run in circles like headless chickens. Feeling uncharacteristic, he slams his head onto his table, repeatedly.

"Oh Kami-sama! The g-ghost has gotten to Shin-chan! Help! Someone, help Shin-chan!"

Midorima continues hitting his head, albeit lighter this time as his "friend" joins the rest in their scream-a-thon. He groans, as if in pain. _Today is certainly not his day..._

"Yo, Midochin. I see that your clinic is as busy as usual..."

Midorima's head snaps up at the baritone voice of the pastry chef, and glares at the man harshly. _Him!_ Said chef is munching on some cupcakes and is holding a bag filled with treats. He offers a cupcake with green icing to the doctor, but Midorima smacks it away as he picks up the baseball bat.

_He may not have experience in playing baseball, but he sure knows what he's about to do next!_ With an evil gleam in his eyes, he grips the bat before chasing after the tall man who had gotten a head-start at his evil chills.

_His lucky item sure is useful!_

**Hope you enjoyed this! :D Please review!**


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